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Aug 8, 2004
The Prep Stands Alone

Wow it's been a while since I wrote in this thing. Well nothing too exciting goin on. Last night I went into red bank with andrew and his brother. We hung around with the crew: Garth, LT, pete, Tom, Geoff, and others. Garth was his usualy hyper self, jumping around yelling lyrics from streetlight songs whenever things got too quiet. We stopped for a few at Garth's car, where one of the bands playing at internet cafe was unloading some stuff. The lead guitarist of Denver in Dallas, which we found out later on that night, was real cool. He pulled out his board in the lot and we had a little sesh with him.

By 10 or so kennelly went home with his brother, leaving garth and I to chill at the internet cafe, lots of bands were playing. They were all emo for the most part, but the music itself was pretty sweet. Tom, pete and LT met us there around 11. Denver in Dallas was pretty sick. We headed back to Garth's car at around 11:45, to find a nice little surprise. The parking lot at the bank was pretty much empty except for his car, which was parked diagonal across two spaces. The only thing was that it wasn't like that when we left to walk around that night. Some people explained how a bunch of kids came up and picked it up from the back bumper and turned it like that. Garth was pissed.



I went into red bank tonight again with katie. but only for two hours because she needed to be home early for school. Yes, school...in the summer. She is wierd. We started out the night the right way, with a bottle of bawls. That's all it took, however, for katie to be mega hyper. We met up with the crew for a few, then after a starbucks stop for more caffeine for katie, I got some cheesy bread from dominoes. It was delish. We sat down by teh water at riverside to eat that, then made our way back up to the main street to chill with garth and all them. He gave Katie and I the piss drunk sign on our hands, katie was oblivious to its meaning. We basically chilled with them the rest of the night. I met this super cool kid, mike madden. He was little but very awesome. We all walked down through town to the diner to meet my mom. Andrew jumped up at the window of the restaurant where my mom and her friend was eating, making wierd faces. Then, we all piled into the diner for 10 minutes to eat the leftovers from their meal, haha. After that it was on home.

Posted at 11:40 pm by rastajosh1
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Jul 21, 2004
Sci-Fi Non-FIction Unicorns

Wow it's been a while since i wrote in this thing...mainly because my damn computer didnt work, then today it just started goin for whatever reason. frieken technology.

Ok so not too much been happenin lately. Moved into the new house...i like, nice n quiet, isolated room...privacy. Sean, however, does not approve. He thinks its just my old house reversed, with a different dog. It confuses him.
  
I stepped on a nail a week or two ago in andrew's front yard. It was pretty crazy, it almost came out the other end, we got it on film. I went out to Olive Garden with the crew after the emergency room though so the day wasnt a total loss. Alex felt inclined to stomp on my numbed foot, eash time asking me if I felt it. The conversation turned to how many people had started their summer reading yet...pretty much everyone answered no, except for alex. She then asked us what exactly a "Science Fiction" book was. Dan told her that if it had an alien or a spaceship on the front, then it was sci-fi. So alex asked if a book about unicorns was considered Sci-Fi...bc thats what she was reading. Everyone kinda just stared at her for a while.

Alex:"What!? Unicorns are science fictionish!"
Everyone:"No alex they're not."
Alex:"Well they're definately not real so its gotta be."
Dan:"Alex...do you think unicorns are non-fiction?"
Alex:"Yes....i mean, wait..no they're not real."

The rest of teh night, dan, owen, and I just kept relating everything to unicorns. We did a guys only trip to the lavatory, and that about wrapped up the night. Of course right after we paid the bill, which took about 5 times as long as it should have due to that fact that people dont fu**ing just relax about the idea that someone might pay a few bucks more than other people. Good frieken god.

So then i couldn't do anything for like a week. It sucked. The lack of internet got to me real bad, basically to the point where i took my sisters computer of of her room just to get online. When i was finally able to walk I started skating again. It felt good...it had been 4 months. In recent news, special k got sponsored by circles...good stuff. well im gonna go eat now so peace


Posted at 01:39 pm by rastajosh1
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Jun 6, 2004
Rusell Crowe, NJ and God damn kieth

Whoa, crazy good weekend. Naval ball then another of alex's infamous hot tub parties...a lot went down, but heres a somewhat detailed summary...

Ok so naval ball...we all ended up getting service dress after all the mitchin n bonin, and i wore my snifdy do drill cord that i earned...right. Went to emo cait's house for pics...met some cba kids who were pretty cool, but way too tall. Lee showed up, apparently injured...i watched her get her heel stuck in cait's deck...hah. After we stood around like frieken zoo animals for pics...it was ofter to fort monmouth. We arrived and did the social thing for a while. Lee was insanely tired the entire time, so i made her drink soda n it kinda worked too much. She laughed at everything and was pretty hyper, but it didnt last long. Over all it was an excellent dance. We sat with sasha, who was hysterical...kind of like a russian garret of our school. I danced, it was cool. Tori was at our table, she goes to our school, i think.

Of course i had to endure the music consisting of eminem and other riffraff. Scoras attempted his signature back flip...didn't work all too well however. Everyone endured sean's antics, who apprently didnt have a seat, but instead wandered all over the tables talking to people. Unfortunately, allen was not voted prom king, but he earned the rank of prince, respectively. Keller got king, n pat n tate money were dutches and w/e the hell the other thing is. The night came to a close, or so one would think. Everyone grabbed one of this year's table items...whcih had changed from last year's shot glass to a candle with the words "MAST 2004 Naval Ball..." and some other stuff on it. So now we're not as much inclined to do shots of cuervo as much as sit in a room filled with non-aromatic candles.

So, after the ball, we all went bowling in longbranch. I must say i was quite surprised that i actually planned it all. Im usually not one for making successful plans, but this time i managed to get jess, alex, me, kyle, kieth, lee, mike, jordan, jp, devin, and dan to come bowling...and we all got there. Of course, devin only came bc he had to hitch a ride home from lee...and i ended up paying 30 bucks for him, and pretty muc everyones food bc certain individuals wouldnt just shut the hell up about the money and just pay. When it comes to paying for stupid shit like food at a bowling alley, i personally dont really care if i pay 4 or 5 bucks too much. Jesus christ...give money and dont bitch about the fact thats some didnt pay as much as others. I put 23 bucks into the pot, and u know wat, some peepl who ate didnt give any, but i really dont care. good god.

Bowling was def fun. There was pretty much no one else there other than some hardcore old guys...but im not complaining, they keep the sport alive. we got to see dan's numerous techniques including spinning around getting yourself dizzy b4 u throw the ball, few of which ever worked to actually knock down pins. It was funny tho. JP and I went into an unspoken competition to get the highest scores. He beat me the first game, but i came back and whooped his ass the second time around with a 134...id say avg for my likings. The biggest surprise of the night though, was leeanne's performance, scoring a 105 while in her dress and dead tired...bravo lee. Alex managed to express her need to act foolishly by standing at the opening of the lane and spreading her legs so i could bowl in between them...only i bet she wasnt expecting the crotch slap i gave her...mwuahah. Near the end of bowling, the guy who takes your shoes, who also happenned to b the dude who operated the music, put on a slow song for us and we danced on the lanes...very interesting. What topped it off however, was the guy trying to sing to the lyrics. Theres just no feeling like slow dancing at 1 am on bowling lanes, listening to a guy singing almost as bad as american idol finalists, but it was def a night to remember.

After bowling, me kyle jp and kieth went back to kyle's house, who lived pretty close. We rode with jp's dad, who i had heard very much about, but had never met. He's probably one of the funniest, yet most racist people i have ever seen. He thoroughly enjoyed passing by kyle's house so kyle could point out who all the people on his street were...

(passing by the houses slowly, kyle pointing at them...)
"Those people are jews, more jews here, more jews, a bunch of hippies live there, then more jews there, a bunch of college kids live in that house, but they're moving out and more jews are moving in..."

We finally got back to kyle's house, where a lot of stupidity on kieth's part would take place. After settiling in, we went up to his kitchen to get some ice cream, where his mom helped us get all the toppings and what not. All was going well, i got some mint choc chip, poured some chocolate syrup on it, and we sat down, eating and talking. The discussion eventually turned to school, and kieth just...well...just look...

Kyle: "Yea, but kieth, you can't miss any more school this year or you'll get left back."

Kyle's mom: "Oh, why did you miss so much school this year, kieth?"

Kieth: "Well, in the begginning of the year I missed like 2 months for breaking my collar bone, then i got a concussion from boxing, then i think i got food poisoning at the winter ball, oh, and at josh's party after one of the dances, i think i got blood alcohol poisoning from drinking so much vodka."

a few seconds passed where everyone in the room just stared at kieth, all, as i was, thinking somewhere along the lines of "Kieth you fucking moron"...but no, he wasnt done.

Kyle's mom: "Josh, you had alcohol at your party? Your mom would have known..."

Me: "...No, I didn't give him anything..."

Kieth: "Yea you did duude...remember, and then i brought some stuff to your house...I think it was the vodka and whiskey we had that got me sick."

Wow...i was about to kill him. what a dousch bag. Are ya kidding me? We all kinda laughed to try to hide our guiltyness, and they all went downstairs, leaving me in a very awkward position with Mrs. Schaffner...during which i told her i had no idea that he was drinking in my house...so then i ran back downstairs where we all yelled at kieth for the next 20 minutes.

We fell asleep to Donnie Darko, and woke up at 11, which was wayyyyy too early for going to bad at like 4. Well ive got things to do, so ill finish up with alex's hot tub party later, because that was a whole other story in its own...



Posted at 08:12 pm by rastajosh1
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May 8, 2004
Deja Vu

Yea so last nite me, kyle, scott, and owen went over to sam's place in sea bright. We did the usual stuff...skated, ate, lit off fireworks, ate, and other stuff. At aout 11 pm me n scott were following kyle skating in teh road down towards town...we stopped. kyle didnt. he must have gone on for about 2 or 3 miles, then we went after him again, finally finding him on his way back. We spent an hour or two skating around town, during which scott broke his board on an ollie??? he duct taped it back together so we could ride back.

On our way back, we all stopped to mess aorund in a playground on the beach...quite interesting. Kyle spent a lot of time on the purple dinosaur see-saw thing...then when i jumped off of it, he threw a handful of sand into my face. I chased him over to the slide part of the playground, just to have him jump down and throw more sand in my face, not fun. I got him back good tho, when he wasnt looking i threw a bunch of sand as hard as i could into his face and eyes...all i got in response was "good shot" so i assumed he was fine. After scott and owen tried to catch some wild cat...we hitched a ride home from mike drogin, and were back home. Kyle and scott left around midnight, which was around when me and owen got our dumb ass idea of walking to a girls house in rumson.

So the girls name is sam and she told us her address...we put it into map quest and it sed it was only 3 miles. what the hell...we had nothing batter to do. Now this is hen owen fucked things up...writing down the directions. Everything was goin fine, we made all the turns we were supposed to. After we got onto ridge st...we thought our next turn would b a right onto west st...which was sam's house.  Our plan was that if she wasnt home and had made us walk all the way there for nothing, we'd pee on her lawn. Well i guess in order to do that, you have to find her house first. On our search for her street, we passed easr river rd...see, that was the street we were supposed to turn onto before hers...only owen neglected to write that down.

me: "Owen, are you sure we didnt have to make a turn between ridge and her street?
owen: "Yea, it doesnt say it on the directions i wrote down."

Yea, owen was terribly wrong. We wandered down ridge rd all the way from sea bright to fair haven.  At one point, we got some confidence from a taxi driver. He stopped to ask us where "Baiyouuee bar" was...whatever the hell that is...and we asked him if west street was further up the road. He said yea. So we continued for another 3 miles, not hittin that street at all. We later came to the conclusion that when he said west st was 'that way' (pointing further down the road)...what he really meant was that the direction 'west' was that way. After a few miles w/o finding it, we sat down n gave up...deciding that there was no way we were gonna walk all the way home. Of the original 3 mile journey to her house we were supposed to make, we traveled 5.4 miles. Yeah...way to go owen.

We sat down on a street corner to try n call a raxi, but my fone was dead...so now, we didnt find her house, went 5 miles to friken fair haven, and didnt even get to pee on her lawn...wat a waste. After about 15 minutes of waiting on the corner, a cop car pulled up at the red light and we asked him for directions. He didnt know where it was either, but offered to drive us wherever we needed to go...

hmmm, sound familiar?? 3 am...sneaking out to some girls house...get a ride from the cops...

so we got him to give us a ride home back to sams during which we explained what we were doing, and he commented that the grls we were trying to find better have ben cute. we got home safe and sound. wat a great ending to a messed up night...thank you fairhaven police man...

Posted at 02:27 pm by rastajosh1
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Apr 27, 2004
I want my shirt back, biotch

Yea I've had a headache for the past 2 and a half days now. Why, you ask? Because of the concussion i got in my game on sunday. I don't really remember much, just getting into the car and convincing my mom that I didn't wanna go to the hospital because i hate doctors. That's concussion number 3 for me...i think i remember hearing something about after your 6th or 7th one u die or sumthin...so at this rate i should live to a nice ripe ole age of about 30.

This week's been pretty boring. I finally found out that the talent show wasn't last thursday...so the skit me and sean made in 2 days wasn't at all necessary since it won't b needed til late may. Maybe we'll think of something better in the meantime. Today was pretty ordinary. I walked into the cafetieria to find sean shooting peanuts out of a huge straw...he had pretty good aim and the thing had eral good distance...he hit some freshman halfway across the cafeteria right in the head. Later, we walked out to the parking lot when tim drove in with mike n jess in his car so we could pelt him in the chest with a peanut. Then we learned that jess had been drenched in puddle water from when tim drove over one...leaving him and miek completel dry, but soaking jess...so the rest of the day we tormented her on the issue...randomly asking if anyone smelled puddle water if she was in the room.

Sean finally brought in my god damn sweatshirt from the night jordan had her party. Along with that, he's got (or at least i thought he did) my sandles and my shorts...o and a shirt...but today he let me know that he gave my sweatshirt to sharon, he's got my sandels...hes pretty sure my shirt is at his place, and devin has my shorts...awesome, a scavenger hunt fr my own god damn clothing. O, and today on the bus, devin took my shirt that i bought for 25 cents and wouldn't give it back. So, in retaliation, i stole his shoe and walked off the bus with it...i hope the bus drops him off right in front of his house, for his sake at least.

well now i have to write my spanish honor society papers so i can tell my mom that even though i dropped 10 points in english, i got into shs...later

Posted at 09:41 pm by rastajosh1
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Apr 11, 2004
She made me perogies...but without porkchops in her pocket

Yeah i definately can't remember what day it was but i crept outta the house at like 1:30ish to chill with la diabla (meant in an entirely good way) to chill and what not. I'm not sure why cops go after kids riding their bikes at this time of night though. I mean there's no curfew or anything, so to have me go peddling into the neighborhood across the street because a cop car stopped, turned around, and started driving after me later having me hide in a bush until he left is just a pointless waste of energy. Nevertheless I made it over to the kid's place to be lead into her living room to find her waiting with perogies for me...now that's friendship if I've ever seen it. The two that I ate were quite deliciuos, and i ACCIDENTALLY dropped the other one on the floor. I swear, this girl's family is excellent with italian food.

As for spring break, I did a lot of nothing and very little of anything. Lots of sleep took place. On friday, i think, stoye came over for some skating and what not. We wanted to skate the school by me but some frieken kids were there playing baseball with their families. America's pastime my ass...let the frieken mast kids skate for the love of god. During the day we attempted to ride over to jess's house only to findo ut that she'd ditched us for her otehr friends. So then it was off to lee's...dude way farther away than i thought. About a half hour later we were at her place chillin on her porch n watching her abuse her dogs juNiper and quinn..hahah. When we got there, her mom came out to say hi n pulled out the mail, saying it was something from school for lee...she opened it up, looked at it, and yelled out to leeanne, "You've got serious liver disease!" Lee's response to this was to just stare at her mom for a while and then continue talking with us. That reminds me, her mom is real cool. She was making pasta (yeah you guessed right but i was close) and out of nowhere she brings brian and i out two little plates of it to try. You know how it tasted? Just like it smelled...DELICIOUS. After we watched her dogs attack brian for about 15 minutes we had to leave (with no pork-shops in our pockets) and we rode the rest of the way home no stops.

He slept over that night, during which we made a very shitty yet effective prank call on the nobelator. It's amazing how much talking in a deep voice can make you sound like someone else, especially when the prankee had been duped several times before with the same person...
We also played the beast at a few games of online pool...molality, i bow to you...you were a fierce opponent, and the current billiards standings are 2-1 in your favor.

The next day, I woke up at frieken 7 am with just 4 hours of sleep and got up, showered, n made some choc chip pancakes...they were superb. Then we went to the nobelator's for the rest of the day. This was pretty cool. I totally dominated her in her bed (not sexually you perverts) and gave her some new background pics. When we were in her backyard just messin around, her dog woody bit her n broke the skin...major bummer, but it was all good when she got her squidward band-aid. When we went to go get lunch i finally met the ellusive jesse...he seemed cool. Afterwards we just watched some tv n we left n went back to stoye's for about a half hour to watch some hardcore poker.

Yea not much else went on and now its sunday meaning one more day n its back to school. I rode my bike's to cait's today n we watched A Knight's Tale..yea dude we've def only seen a total of about 3 movies at your house...4 max. It's kinda sad, but funny all the same. Now I mus get some food, adios




Posted at 10:17 pm by rastajosh1
Comments (1)

Apr 5, 2004
Your a DUMBUTT


Leeanne...a seemingly normal and ambitious girl when you first meet her, but a crazy, mango sorbet obsessive cross dresser who is fond of single units of facial hair person when you see her true self. She is so obsessed in fact, wit mango sorbet, that her random speech one day brought her to make up this song:

mango sorbet is so good,
i like to eat it,
all the time,
i like to eat it in the zoo,
and even play the kazooooo,
i eat in the mall, especially wen i fall,
i eat it wen im on the fone with josh, so i can make him wish he has some mango sorbet,
and then hell hafta beg me for it,
and ill say hell no biznatch!!!!

              (chorus)
mango sorbetttttttt, is very good to meeeee
mango sorbetttttttt, is very good to meeeee...

It is blaintanly obvious that miss thomas is in critical need of the following skills/items:

tweezing eyebrows
shaving goatees
buying feminine-based clothing
consuming other foods than mango sorbet
shaving mustaches
knowing what type of body piercing is attractive
protection from random outbursts such as "YOUR A DUMBUTT" and her failed attempts at sounding black when saying "YeeeAAHHHH"

Hopefully, Leeanne will be seeking some type of prefessional help to cure her of her mental problems. One of her biggest current problems is that of the delusion that she is Romeo from Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet. Perhaps she is skitsofrenic, or else she may simply just be a crazy ass mofo. But one thign is for sure, she will need to be ridding herself of this problem before it goes too far, and she becomes a permanent mango-sorbet/renaissance playwright obsessor, which would be al too familiar for most of us.

Posted at 11:13 pm by rastajosh1
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Mar 29, 2004
What Truly is you, may not be

Ok, so im kinda supposed to be doing my town meeting crap, but while looking at some pics of my old friends, i was inspired to write...

Just to give a little background info to help some of you understand this, i moved to south florida when i was entering 4th grade. I stayed there til about 5th grade, then moved back up here. Now 4th and 5th grade aren't exactly your 'defining' years of your life, but it got me thinking how i would have ended up had i stayed there all through highschool. So when i did live in florida, it was all about backstreet boys, sagging your jeans, and britney spears. Not exactly the height of my music appreciation ability in life, but gimme a break, i was still learnin.

So i still keep in touch with a few friends down in florida, but lately i havnt really been talkin to em too much. Today, however, i looked at my friend todd's profile and saw he had one of those online picture galleries. I figured I'd take a quick look, seeing as i hadnt seen any of these kids in about 5 years. So his site is called 'South Plantation Nightlife', and is supposedly all about taking pictures while they're partying so they can have an idea of what they were doing wen they were piss drunk. Now I looked at these pics, recognizing a few people, but i def couldn't picture myself with them. First off, all the guys were dressed in Sean John, Paco, ecko, and polo jeans with big silver chains hangin off their necks. There were also a few with them in these white cotton muscle tank tops acting like they were rappers or something. Now call em crazy, but i just don't see myself with these people. Of course now i can say to myself..."Theres no way you would have turned out that way no matter who you hung out with"...but its not true. I'd like to think of how i am now is how i should be...i like to think i have somewhat of a style in a sense, or at least more than those who dress in that type of clothing. I'm not askin to be some Billy Budd kinda dude, but it gets you wondering how i would have been had i not moved. I mean in a perfect world we would all choose our own paths in life and not let anyone or anything interfere with that...but take a look at the world folks, we're far from perfect. So i think and i hate to consider that if we didnt move, i would probably be sitting around in my too-big jeans with a big silver chain around my neck listening to usher. Frankly, i'm pretty glad to have not turned out like that...but it def gets u thinkin.


Posted at 09:41 pm by rastajosh1
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Mar 28, 2004
Donkey Punches Biotch

Yea today was cool, cept for the fact that its sunday. I woke up round 10 and decided to make myself a full fledged breakfast. It was delicious, i had the works...pancakes, eggs, a waffle, toast, n bacon. My my it was fabulous, not quite as good as sean's tho. Then chris came over to work on our kite. We really didn't do much but i guess we got some crap done. It would def be amazing if this thing flew. We were originally gonna do the wright brothers plane...but then we realized that it had engines, and kites dont have engines so we switched to a wright brothers glider that was really used as a kite thing. Even so, i doubt this thing will fly.

After the kite crap we had a game against middletown, of who we ripped a new asshole for. We got a pretty steady game goin with 1-0 lead, then in the second half it gonna fun. Two middletown players hardcore sandwiched my teammate jeff, so wen i went back on the field i was gunnin for middletown poons. I wasn't erally sure who did the sandwiching before, so i just messed with the first kid i got the chance to. It was hilarious...the ball came down the sideline and i got to it wen a middletown player was about 20 feet from it, lightly jogging to the ball bc i had gotten there first. So instead of passing it or just kicking it up the line, i backed off and let the midletown kid get to the ball before i did...then right when he touched it i slide tackled his ass back to east bumblefuck. it was magnificent.

Later in the game, gerard was goin for a cross in the box, n the stupid goalie came out like 30 feet from the line n tried to hit it out...both missed, and the goalie tripped over himself, landing on gerard's legs. Then he like grabbed gerards legs to be a dick....so gerard donkey punched him...it was perhaps the best part of the day for me. The goalie almost cried...n about 5 minutes later, john lane shat in his face by scoring bc the goalie wasnt smart enough to realize that the ball hit the post n didnt go over it... what a douch. Not much happenned til the end of the game...ghetto fabulous trevor scored, which was amazing...then i almost killed this one kid when we both went for a header.

Chris came over later n we finished up some kite shit...now im tired n i hafta sleep...

Posted at 10:12 pm by rastajosh1
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Mar 27, 2004
Crouching Tiger, Hidden Jewish Kid

What an interesting day it has been. Last night ws of course the greatly anticipated 'Vegas Shindig' at jordan's. Not to be outdone by anyone, sean and i were seigfried and roy, along with the fruity glitter shirts, size 6 slim womens pants (white), horrible tan shit, and eyeliner. Then to finish it off we had a huge white tiger and a bullwhip for me. That night, however, is not why I am writing this blog.

So today, I was extremely bored. I mean like crazy ass mofo bored. I got home from soccer practice at like 12, and just sat with my thumb up my ass for like 6 hours. Then I finally found something to do when winchester and her friends sam n kelli told me to go to red bank with them. Seemed like good idea...i mean wat was the worst that could have happenned? Psh...i shoulda asked myself that.

By the way, fyi, i rode my bike.

So we go shopping in this place called nirvana...way too expensive. Jeans: $170, skirt with about as much fabric as my sleeve: $80, cheapest sale item: $55. Come on now...i mean i felt like i was in the middle of "The Fabulous Life of Rumson Girls" for christ's sake. I bet that if they gave me the time, I could double their wardrobe size if they were to shop by my price limits...maybe triple it if they stayed with it. After that, we just kinda chilled around at starbucks and what not...then it was time to go home.

So i argued with em all about going back to their place to chill or w/e but they eventually just forced me to go back by myself in the dark thru redbank 3 anda half miles home. So I was on my way and when i got within like 30 yds from foodtown, some kid pops out of like the driveway of a little house and grabs me and my bike. He pushed me back and then tried to take my bike, but my jewish instincts kidked into action and i punched the 50 cent immitators ass right in the face. I didnt rele look to c if he was out, i kinda just bolted in case he pulled a knife on me or sumthin. So, instead of going back to rumson with a bunch of grls to get wasted, i was forced to bike home, nearly getting killed by some black dude on a dark red bank street.

Moral of the story...always go for the ass, never the dark alley ways full of thugs

Posted at 09:12 pm by rastajosh1
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